It's a very strange sensation, and a tough one to get used to, but I think I am finally there. I never really know how to describe it either, but I'll try. That's what this blog thing is for, right?
Sometimes -- not often, thank goodness -- I simply feel like I am in the process of dying. I feel my internal organs shutting down and decaying, really fast. At least, I would assume it's fast, since it generally does not last more than six or so hours.The brain doesn't usually do the shut down part, just the decay part. The muscles seem to turn to concrete, like they could never flex again. Everything inside is rotting away.
And the really weird part? I'm not worried in the least. This is one that has scared me every time, for years. Now it's just a major bother. And, I think it's fair to say, mighty uncomfortable. But I think I've finally gotten to the point where this one does not leave me doubting that I will get better anymore. And that's a good thing.
Of course, if I could cease experiencing it all together, that would be better, but I guess that is asking for too much!
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