Silly Fibro!

Silly, silly Fibro! My body is pretending to have pneumonia. During a pandemic. Is that more tenacity or just some nerve? Not sure...

Do I know it's pretending? Well, it's happened before, just not during a pandemic. My temperature is a little low. But that can happen in old folks with compromised immune systems. I'm almost old, and Fibro is usually lumped in with immunocompromised disorders. But that's mainly because they can't seem to find a better place to dump it. My immune system itself is pretty strong. And the low temp thing is a concern over 65; I'm about to turn 60. Am I hacking up phlegm? Feels like it -- but no actual phlegm involved. Pain breathing? Yes. But no problem fully inflating my lungs. And no problem holding my breath with them fully inflated. Those things don't happen when there's actually fluid in the lungs. 

Part way through the day, or maybe tomorrow when I wake up, those problems will be gone, and new ones will appear. 

Silly Fibro!

No News Is...

 No news. Yeah, same ol'. Well, a tiny bit. With major seizures, like fish out of water, arms flailing seizing, Linus is also climbing on top of me. And holy cow does that speed up the recovery process! I think it might be because I actually have something to anchor myself to. My doctor said that is possible, or it might have something to do with Linus weighing 85 pounds, because that could be enough pressure to affect my circulation and/or breathing depth. But he had no concrete ideas, and neither do I. I'm just glad for the help!

Fibro in the Times of a Pandemic

Yeah, it's been a WHILE. 

Kind of hard to focus on Fibro when so much of life is so weird. But I will say a few things. Whether it is because of aging, teaching on line, lack of social events, change in diet, misaligned planets -- who knows -- seizures are changing. I had a doozie while standing up the other day. This was not while pushing a shopping cart (the arm stuck in that position for too long) or standing in a line (the body stuck in that position for too long). It was just after I'd walked over to open the back door for the dogs. Not a typical 'trigger' for seizures. 

And speaking of the dogs... Linus is REALLY turning into a service dog! With seizures, he stays close to me until they calm down, then comes up to touch me. With muscle cramps, he climbs on top of me immediately after my screeching starts to dwindle, which is surprisingly therapeutic! I had no idea. I have not trained him to do any of this; he just does it as a natural reaction. There is so much love in this dog! The morning after election night, when I had obviously been in a bit of turmoil, I woke up to Linus hugging me!

So, a bit of Fibro news, but more good than bad. Linus is making a huge difference in how I'm getting through it. I'm a lucky man.

Learning New Things Every Day...

 Yeah, I am back to school -- all online, thank goodness. Yes, I prefer teaching in person, but not when that endangers lives. So I have to redesign most of the assignments, and have to figure out how to gauge engagement via Zoom, big deal, it's still teaching.

 But today is Saturday, so I was not in school. But, oh boy, did I learn things. Things like my eye doctor is really good, and my favorite optical tech guy is really, really good -- and they are a great combo. And I also learned that the test for confirming/ruling out suspicions of glaucoma involves lots of flashing lights. This is a bad piece of news for someone with a seizure disorder and questionable eye ball pressure. The first round (out of three, typically) was administered by a different technician. When I brought up my seizures after the first eye was tested, he was very efficient in his response that we could stop if I needed to; I said I'd keep going. He then sent me to see the doctor without the second or third rounds, explaining that I have a seizure disorder. My doctor was right in there, and he made sure I was okay before he'd even sat down. We talked through the first round results. He explained that my results could have been legit, or could have been because I'd never taken this type of test before. This is why they typically do three rounds. After talking through the results of round one, he asked if I thought I could handle the second round today. Before I could answer, he told me he was not willing to make me do all three today, that round three would be during the follow up visit next month, but billed as a continuation of today's so there would be no additional charge since he was the one refusing to do round three today. He also said I could stop round two at any time.

 So, he takes me to the other tech -- the one I had last month for my regular appointment. This guy is really compassionate. He is so concerned about my well-being. He not only restates the fact that he'll shut it down the moment I'm having any problem with it, but he tells me the 'secret' way that I can shut it down immediately by myself! After we do the right eye, he asks if I'd like a break -- yes, please -- and leaves me after making sure that is fine. When he comes back, I'm at the tail end of a mid-range arm seizure. He looks like he could cry at any moment. I explain that it was a good one, and my arm is much better now. He's a little hesitant to continue until I convince him to do so. We finish, then he has me wait in that room with the fancy machine while he gets the doctor. He doesn't even want me walking down the hall to the regular exam room. The doctor is again all about the seizure, and am I okay. After we discuss that, he goes over the second round results with me, and confirms that I should have a third one -- next month. He calls the good tech in, and tells him to take me up front to check out. Good tech stays with me throughout the process, asking about different things that might make the third round easier for me to take, and jotting them down in a small spiral notebook. He then confirms that he'll be working that day, and he and the doctor will make sure he's the one administering round three.

 I don't know that I've ever felt loved at an eye doctor appointment before...

The Mind is a Terrible Thing...

Woke up this morning in extreme pain. Everything hurt, just some parts hurt worse than others. Each movement required to start my day was labored. And, of course, my mind went to coronavirus. Dumb mind. It knows I have Fibro. It knows 'real' aches and pains mix with Fibro ones sometimes. It knows mornings are generally more difficult. But it's dumb sometimes.

Pushed my way through getting the dogs outside, taking my meds/vitamins, starting the coffee maker. Fortunately my mind knows the importance of those things. I've finished the first cup of coffee, and pain levels are about 1/3 what they were. Good mind, smart mind. Never forget the power of coffee.

Interesting One... I Think...

I had a very vivid, detailed dream last night. I was seriously dancing, like I used to be able to do back in the day. I was in a studio that was similar to the one Music Machine used to rehearse in ten or so years ago, but not that one. I was doing some jazz, some modern, some ballet... my form was really good, but I was definitely having to work at that (editor's note -- I always had to really work at good form, lol). Time was difficult to judge, but I must have been at it for well over two hours.

So I wake up this morning, and I am sore, but not my usual sore. I had the utterly delicious soreness that only comes from a really good dance rehearsal. I had forgotten how wonderful that feels. 

I know it was just a dream, but apparently my body did not know that part...

No News is...

No news. Seriously, nothing fibro-related. Teaching online was tough, but I got through it. Borrowing a wobble chair from school helped me sit at the computer longer. Still the same frequency of seizures -- a little bit higher, probably, and a little bit worse, but no major difference. And now it's summer. 

Hopefully the pandemic will end, and I can get back to noticing fibro things to write about.

Too Much

Yeah, too much happening. There's no one reading this who doesn't know that, at this time in history, the world is in the midst of a pandemic. So writing about Fibromyalgia seems lame.

Yeah, but...

Fibro is an auto-immune disorder. People who are immunocompromised are at a lot higher risk of both getting COVID-19 and having a worse time with it. 

Which leads to the question: Is someone with an auto-immune disorder necessarily immunocompromised? It sounds like it. I've seen people posting it as a fact on social media. 

But...

I don't think I am immunocompromised. I teach at a public school. Bugs are constantly flying around. I get maybe half of them, and usually experience the ones I do get lighter than most people. If I were immunocompromised, wouldn't I be more susceptible than the average person, not less? 

Still waiting for a response on this question from the CDC -- but they are a little busy these days.

I'm All Shook Up...

Yeah... another ridiculous seizure. Thirty-plus minutes, around 3am. I got out of bed and left Mr. B there, since I knew it was going to be a big one, and those freak him out. Unfortunately I was not able to make it downstairs, where I could have sought out comfort from Linus. I was stuck on the landing, alone, for the whole thing. When it was finally over, I probably could have gone downstairs, but decided to get back into bed instead. Mr. B is good for cuddles after an event, just not during...

"Non-Epileptic Epilepsy" is the stupidest diagnosis ever.

No Pain, Big Gain?

Well, the broken foot with the torn ligaments is at least 90% better. I still feel the pain from the ligaments every once in a while. The bones still have ghost pains as well. But it's so much less than it was! I can do just about everything again, including some dancing. So, I will take it!

Now if I could just get Fibro to get 90% better as well...

Making it Through...

Yeah, just muddling along. The foot is still slowly healing, good days and not-so-good. Same as fibro, different days with different results. Occasionally I will mix the two up in my head -- I'll feel like the broken foot is having a bad day, only to realize that it's the wrong foot. Things like that. Like, whatever...

And Linus has gotten into the habit of crawling into my lap for about 20 minutes every night. All 80 pounds of him. I'm enjoying every pound.